Remembering my Favorite Christmas!

     It was hot outside.  Instead of snow on the ground, boots, coats and mittens, our attire was flip flops, short sleeves and please no jackets!  The date was December 25; Christmas day in Africa.  This particular year had the potential of Christmas being a sad, "look at what we missed out on" day, but instead ended up being one of my very favorite Christmases.
     You see we had just moved into a house that needed remodeling.  Things were still piled to the ceiling in one of the bedrooms while the house was being painted and ready to live in.  So, this meant pulling together all our creative resources and making this as "Christmas" as possible, with barely anything to work with . . . well at least according to American standards.
     Things began to take shape.  A door, which had been removed from one of the door ways, was discovered and propping two chairs at both ends, a table was created.  Now for something to cover the door.  A red African wrap-around would serve the purpose well. (A piece of fabric the women use to wrap around themselves as skirts.)  Never mind it wasn't exactly "Christmasy", the color counted.  With no electricity yet in the house, the candles and lantern in the middle of the table were both festive and necessary!
     Now for greenery?  There is no such thing as pine trees in Africa, and actually very little greenery in Dec. the beginning of dry season.  Then someone remembered the thriving vine that had practically covered the girls bedroom window.  It was green and even had tiny red flowers on it!  (We were delighted to see them growing in North Carolina.  I think it's called a trumpet vine or something like that.)  Yes, that was perfect.  Greenery was soon stretched in the middle of the table between the candles and lantern.
     With everything set, and Christmas music playing, we sat down to a "table" ladened with special food.  I believe it was either a guinea, chicken or a rare turkey.  A version of, pretty realistic, "mashed potatoes" made from the locally grown yam, and I'm guessing salad or a canned vegetable.  (It's been awhile!)   Oh yes and Dad had "splurged" at the "Western grocery store" and got juice boxes and chocolates for each of us!
     It was a very merry Christmas made even more enjoyable because we didn't have!  We couldn't just go to the store and pick up our Christmas foods (except expensive ones), supplies, or even gifts.  We were able to find enjoyment in the simple things and that Christmas sticks out in my mind, above all the other Christmases!
    

  

God is Good

     I told my church yesterday morning in our Thanksgiving service that I was thankful that even when life doesn't feel good, that we can trust and know God is good. It's been after a year of soul stretch and searching that I can say from the depths of my heart that God IS good!

     Somehow as Christian's, at least I for one, have had to come up against the hidden, subtle concept that when we are following God, God will bless us with those things that feel like a blessing, feel good. When we step out into something that feels bizarre and scary, step out in faith, because we feel like that is what God wants us to do, we automatically expect a rewarding outcome. We stepped out in faith, right? We are fighting for a good cause, are we not?

     It was a year ago, after having stepped out in a similar faith step, out into some unknown waters, only to have everything that I was fighting for crash around me, that I had to re- evaluate what God being good looks like.

     How does it feel like good when your faith was rewarded with a crash. When the miracle you felt God was pointing you towards ended in pieces at your feet? If God is good, this doesn't feel like good!

This feels more like betrayal, like God let me down and honestly I didn't like that feeling. I knew it had to be a human feeling because God doesn't do wrong, God never fails, my God says He is only good. I searched for answers to the mixed messages and confusion churning between my heart and my mind.

Following is a clip from my journal:

     “How do I know I can believe what He is saying next time?

     Jesus whispered to my heart and asked me if I believe He is good? Is Jesus all good, with no darkness in Him? Does He give only good things to His children? Of course I knew the answers. So, what if Jesus promised to do exceeding abundantly above what I ask or think but He had to take this away to give me something better... God is God! He keeps His promises but He also sees the whole picture: sees it from a totally different perspective...

     Thank you Jesus that you can be trusted to be working out only good in my life! You have goals, You see the process that's involved in completing or accomplishing the goals and purposes You are working out in my life. This is not a dead end street, a messed up mission, a defeat, or even God going back on His Word. This is only one chapter in the whole book; one link in the chain, and the end of the story; the next chapter, has not yet been read. Yes, they are written, God has every day planned, I just haven't gotten to the next part yet.”

     I look back over my journal of the past year and see God's faithfulness to whisper to my heart and strengthen my faith. One clip from last November, John 20:19 had ministered to me. Only in my case it was changed to fit my situation: “Blessed are those who “don't understand what I am doing” and believe me anyway.

     The story of Mary and Martha and the death of Lazaras ministered to me. Jesus knew ahead of time how the death of Lazaras would bring Him glory, but at the same time his heart hurt for Mary and Martha as they went through the pain of the death. Jesus cares and hurts when we hurt.

    I still don't claim to have all the answers, to understand what that chapter of my life was about, but it is comforting and strengthening to know that we can safely follow God wherever He takes us, wherever He leads, because God is good. It might lead us into hard things, into things that don't make sense, but He will lead us one step at a time as we commit every step into His hands. I may never totally understand but sometimes it's like the song that says, “It's not about what's waiting on the other side; it's the climb”.

Why Troubles ...

     Talking with my sis this morning about the why of unanswered prayer.  Why pain and hard knocks?  Why God doesn't always heal sickness, or solve all our problems?  Even Paul in the Bible had a "thorn in the flesh" that God didn't take away.
     We look at life from such a human perspective.  Everything around us feels so real in our little human surrounded world of things and stuff, feelings and problems.  This is our realm, this is what feels most real to us.  Yes, God is there in the big picture, but sometimes the big picture can feel so big and less tangible, in comparison to this tangible world that we live in.
     I've been thinking of the fact that who we really are is what's inside of us, the part of us that will live for ever; our eternal being.  We forget that we will live forever.  That fact was almost startling as I thought of it this morning.  So . . . these years here on earth are only a temporary stopping place.  Is it maybe a preparation place?  Preparation for eternity?
     This is actually encouraging in a funny way, when we think of age.  We are eternal beings, so actually our age is only the number of days that we have been on this circle of dirt, so far.  Kind of like taking a vacation and counting how many days you've been there, because it's a separate happening from the normal routine of life. 
     So, our real life is eternal.  Could all of this make more sense when we look at it in that light?  The problems, the unanswered prayers, the pain and things that don't make sense to us.  Even the line,  "If God is a good God why does He allow bad things to happen".  God is more concerned about our inner being.  Our inner spirit and soul.  The real us that nobody else can see (with human eyes anyway). 
     I've come to realize that things that deepen my spirit the most and the times my roots grow deeper is through the tough times.  The times of faith shaking, when every heart muscle is getting stretched to it's max.  When you find yourself straining to get a hold of the only solid thing that can really be trusted, and your heart takes you back to God and confirms to the very core of you, that God really can still be trusted.
     Looking at life from a human perspective, we want God to solve all our problems, make life a safe, secure and predictable place.  But God is out to make spiritual warriors, hearts of faith, strong spirits that will depend only on Him.  He wants souls who will believe in Him through anything, who will find Him to be their ALL in all. 
     I get this mental picture of all our souls entering into Heaven.  Some will be healthy and strong, some will be scrawny and weak.  I wonder if it will be a little like graduation.  It will be the day that will reflect the years of training and preparation on earth, the life of our inner person.
     . . . And God is preparing us for THAT DAY!!!   
    

Daddy's Girl

     I LOVE this picture!!!!  My Grandma just sent it to me tonight and it says it all! 

"Come follow Me" . . .

"I know the plans I have for you" . . .

"Will you trust Me" . . .

"I will lead you along the best path for your life" . . .
 
"In My presence is fullness of joy" . . .

"Be still and know that I am God" . . .

"Fear not for I am with you" . . .

"Be not dismayed, I am your God" . . .

"I will strengthen you" . . .

"I will help you" . . .

"I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness" . . .

"Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest" . . .
     This is just for starters.  The list is endless . . . Jesus' messages to us are is endless!!!  Bottom line, it's the awesome title of being "Daddy's girl"!!!!!!  LOVE IT!!!  

Rest - Letting Go

     There are so many mental pictures that come to mind as I think of rest, or the lack of it; floating down a river in a raft, a passenger in a car, a team of oxen. . . Ok I'll explain . . .

     The person on a raft is at rest as they allow the river to carry them where ever it chooses. They don't know what's around the bend, where they will end up, what sights are ahead or what dangers. They are totally at the mercy of the river. The river to me represents God and being lead by His Spirit. The trouble starts when we try to take things in our own hands, try to change the direction the River is taking us. Hanging on to stuff, or pulling stuff onto the raft, that we want to cling to, quickly sends things helter kelter, off balance, and in a spin. The best way to get the most out of the journey, is resting in the center of that raft, letting everything else go, until it's only us and the River. The beauty around suddenly becomes something to enjoy, to absorb, as we joy in the center of God's will. What once felt scary and out of our control, becomes an adventure with God, a mixture of rest and excited anticipation of what God has around the next corner!

     The car scenario is a similar picture. We're the passengers and Jesus is the driver. He never gives us much information on where we are going. He sometimes takes us to crazy places, that we would never go if we were driving. I mean seriously, we could plan this trip better, right? Where He's going doesn't always make sense. Sometimes it's scary! Another time He takes us into some desert land, bouncing over rough terrain. This does not feel like it should be part of our journey and we conclude He's not taking us the right way. That's when it's easy to try to help out a little. You know, grab the wheel, see if we can steer this thing better then the Driver. But that's when the real problems start. Grabbing the wheel is never a good idea! We don't have the GPS, we don't know where our personal journey is suppose to be going. Really, we can't proceed in our journey, and get the best mileage out of our trip, until we take our hands off the wheels, and hang on for the ride! We're in for an adventure!

     I never really connected much with the comment Jesus made about His yoke being easy and His burden light, until I was in Africa and got to see an example of it first hand. It was the neighbor man, working with his yoke of oxen to plow a field. Obviously one ox was a wild one and the other had done this before. The neighbor had put a make shift yoke over both of their heads, tying them together. The only thing was, the wild one didn't want to go where the seasoned one went. This made for a problem as one ox tried to go one way and the other one tried to go another way. It didn't make the yoke look very easy or light, right then. And my brain was going “ching ching” . . . Jesus' yoke IS easy as long as I'm going where He's going. Pulling along side of Jesus, He helps carry my part of the yoke, and makes it very easy. The problem begins when I have something else in mind, want to go another way separate from where He's going; it's not so easy and light!

     So maybe the rest is actually surrender, letting go and embracing the journey He has me on! Whatever the best description is, it seems life becomes the most adventurous when He is most in control of my life!

Lessons From the Mutt

     A couple months ago a "visitor" showed up at our house.  This was not a typical visitor, and not one most people would feel warmly towards.  Her appearance was less then desirable to say the least.
     For one thing, she stank.  A pitiful show of hair, hung in clods to her skinny, bony body.  She walked with a limp and was OLD!!  . . . And lets just say she's mortified me more then once!!!!  For example . . .
     One bright day there was to be an extra special party at my house.  Friends from out of State were in the area, and it was party time!!  This was to be a girls tea party.  Guest were dressed in white skirts and cheery blouses, and a fine display set up under the big tree in the yard.  It was china and dainty tea cups, and old fashioned pitchers filled with fresh picked flowers.  The table was graced with lace, and delicious scones and delectables were to be served.

     I tied our "unwanted friend" with a rope, and conveniently tucked her away behind the house and out of sight of any seeing eye. . . or so I thought.  No longer had the guest begun to arrive, when who should come waltzing through the yard but . . . you guessed who!!  Talk about heights of modification!!!! 
     I frantically tried to get my sister to help lure her away.  "Get food!  Chase her off!  Do something!!!!"  The only success we made, was to have her move to a location farther away from us and settle herself down to relax.  But of course by now all my guest had come!  This SO was not suppose to be happening!
     I confess, I blamed it on my sisters!  "Oh this is more their dog.  She would have been sent to a pound by now but they felt sorry for her , , , she claimed us!"  (That story hasn't died yet!!) 
     Our dog friend (and my sisters) has taught me a lot!  This dog has proved to have so much character tucked under all that skinny unattractive body!  Who is the first to come running to the car as soon as we pull in the lane, but the scrawny dog, waving her nearly hairless tail, totally overjoyed to see us!  The mornings we would get up early to pick black berries, she'd wait for us to come out and sit at our feet to "talk" to us in her dog language of whimpers and yips, so excited to see us!
     I'm reminded of a song Gorden Mote wrote to his wife, that expresses it so well!!!  Gorden, who never got to see his wife's face, with his own eyes, writes these lyrics,  "If they could see you through my eyes, they'd know where the real beauty lies . . . deep inside your heart, who you really are, if they could see you through my eyes."
     I wonder how much better we could really see each other, if like Gorden, we couldn't rely on our eye sight, but could see only with the eyes of our hearts.  How easy to bypass and miss getting a glimpse of the tucked away treasure and character of someone's heart . . . just because . . . It doesn't pass specks, not very glamorous, ect ect.   May Jesus give me those eyes that see through the eyes of the heart!
 
   

Courage

     I'm sitting here looking at my computer screen and the one single word that keeps running through my mind is . . . COURAGE.  Right along with courage, like little ducklings in a row, would be bravery and strength of heart. . .  I admire these qualities greatly!!!
     The first pictures that come to my mind when I think of bravery are the strong pioneers, or the strength of a missionary in a foreign land.  The persecuted are another depth of brave courage that I stand in awe of.  Such inner strength to endure under such strain on spirit and body . . . leaves me speechless, with deepest respect.
     But there's the hidden, unseen courage, that is so subtle, so tucked away, as if as a shy shadow, only recognized when observed closely.  The tender, soft, intangible courage that is sometimes so hidden that nobody but the very person themselves, can know the extent of the courage tucked underneath, though courage be the farthest word from the person's thoughts.
     I'm remembering the story of a little boy, who was being faced with a vicious sounding, big, dog.  The dog barked wildly, terrifying the little boy.  He needed to walk past the dog to get to his destination and with all the inner strength he could muster, he finally gathered enough courage to run past the dog that was standing in his way.  Later when telling his Mom, the story, he was so disappointed to inform her that he was scared and not at all brave.  That's when his Mother told him that he actually was very brave.  It wasn't the lack of fear, but the courage he had to face the fear and push through what would otherwise have held him back.
     It seems sometimes when courage is the farthest from our vocabulary, when we are feeling the weakest . . . most vulnerable . . . more heart muscles are being used, that courageous would actually describe it best.
     It's the friend who attends yet another baby shower, when she herself feels the pain of her absents of a child . . . the inner strength that rices to face the very thing that would seek to choke you and beckon you to crawl in a shell, to avoid . . . the courage to face the fear that would hold you back, (though you be the only one to know that subtle personal weakness).  It's rejoicing with someone who has what your heart longs for. . . It's the choice to keep ones eyes fixed on Jesus, when your heart wants to question; to try and understand. 
     It's the inner strength that only Jesus can give.  When ones own heart is weak, that is when He comes through the strongest!  He sees that heart.  He sees that courage.  He rises to give the strength that would otherwise fail you and He's proud of you!
     He's proud of the way you depend on Him; leaning heavily on His strength when you can't do it yourself.  He sees the courageous brave heart, that refuses to give in, to succumb to defeat, to protect ones own heart from pain.  He sees it when nobody else does! 
   

Hand in Hand

We recently got to have my brother and his wife and my little niece at our house for one whole week!!!! There is something pretty special about being aunt for the first time and we definitely squeezed out every moment of her being here!!
One of the things we did was to go to the dam not far from our place, splashing in the icy cold water . . . and trying not to fall.
All was well, on the rough stones that gave some grip under your feet, but step out on some of that moss covered rock and . . . watch your step!!! That stuff was nasty!! I um . . . testify to the affects of a bad slip! One minute I was up, and before I had time to blink, I was sitting in water. Let's just say I never knew bruises could turn such, "kinda pretty", shades of deep purple!
I love these pictures, and one of the reasons, besides the fact that she's the cutest niece around, is that I've been thinking of me and my Daddy, and how simple and easy my life is as I walk hand in hand with Jesus! I have a little collection of some of my favorite verses referring to God holding our hand . . .

The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord.  He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble they will not fall, For the Lord holds them by the hand.
 Ps. 37: 23&24 NLT
 

The Lord says,
I will guide you along the best pathway
for your life.
I will advise you and watch over you. Ps. 32:8 NLT




. . . I am holding you by your right hand -
I the Lord you God.
And I say to you, Do not be afraid.
I am here to help you. Isaiah 41:13 NLT

Am I walking hand in hand with Jesus through every step of life? Just like my niece, I too can't walk without holding on to Jesus! I will fall, I will go in the wrong direction, and make a mess of things.
Sometimes it's skipping with Daddy, and sometimes it's letting Daddy lead us through slippery places but whatever the place we find ourselves in the journey it is so securing to have the confidence that Jesus is directing one step at a time. I may not know what the next step is to be, or how to walk through a particular rough, slippery spot, but all I need is to feel my hand firmly in His! Loving His presence, and talking with Jesus! This is the life!!!!!!!

The "Remodeler"

     My sisters and I had to picture and plan how the living room would look with it's fresh paint job, before we started painting.  It was the choice of color to put on the wall that would lighten the room, then the offset color that was to go on the back wall behind the couch.  It needed to be just the right tint . . . not too light, . . . so as not to look bla with the light colored couch.  A nice medium brown would be perfect. 
     We scanned the color cards in the paint section.  What would be the perfect, blend??  Wow!  This was harder then we thought; so much to chose from.  Ah yes "Firewood Brown", that would do it.
     You see the deal was, this was a surprise!  Dad and Mom were gone, and by the time they came back there was gonna be a totally different look going on.
     . . . and then the mess!!!  OH WOW the mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Everything shuffled and moved hither and yon, furniture all out of place, pushed into the middle until there were only paths through the living room.  Then the plastic lining the walls, taping the edges, ect ect.  This was no easy procedure!!!
     I seem to learn things best through pictures, and this was no exception.  I started thinking . . . again! : )  The whole idea of Jesus being a carpenter when He was on earth just seemed pretty, well . . . so Him!  A carpenter has to dream, and see potential in something, visualize the finished product, before setting to work.  I could see Him being one that would like remodeling, or taking old stuff and redoing it to bring out it's beauty that nobody else would have thought of.  At least that's the Jesus I know Him to be in my life.
     I started looking around me at the mess, my living room had become.  The chaos, the dirt, things out of place, and so not pretty.  If we had added remodeling to our project, we would have had walls knocked out, and inside studs exposed; showing what the house was made of, (which in the case of our house wouldn't have been much to be proud of).  : )
     Sometimes I have felt like that upheaveled room, exposed, confused, out of control, unknown dirt brought to the surface and the list goes on.  The thing about us, when our lives aren't pretty, is that we can't picture what our "Remodeler" is picturing.
    I imagine Him up there saying, just a little touch of hardship, a little experience of that . . . ah yes, if she responds right to that, it will bring out that side of her a little more.  He is the Creator, the "Remodeler", the Carpenter!
     So next time, I find myself in a situation I don't understand, I'm being stretched, exposed, unsettled . . . just maybe Jesus, is remodeling, and just maybe He is picturing the finished product of what He wants to work out in my life.
     And just to throw in another random thought . . . we had fun showing off our finish product to our Dad and Mom.  I think just maybe Jesus enjoys presenting us to His Father. . . showing off His progress of  perfecting us . . . from glory to glory.  : )

Let God . . .

As for God, His way is perfect! Psalm 18:30

Let God choose for you, it will be the right decision.
Let God guide you, it will be the right direction.
Let God plan for you, it will be in the right timing.
Let God measure for you, it will be the right portion.
Let God help you, it will be the right care.
Let God instruct you, it will be the right teaching.
Let God prepare you, it will be the right training.
Let God counsel you, it will be the right perspective.
Let God fight for you, it will be the right outcome.
Let God work in you, it will be the right result.

-Roy Lessin, DaySpring co-founder and writer

"Grandpa"

     I still can't believe He's gone!  The man who had become Grandpa to me; filling that gaping Grandpa spot that was vacant, now gone! 
     The hard part . . . was he ready?  I think back over the talks, the many times my sister and I prayed on the way to his house asking Jesus to flow through us, help us know just what to say and what not to say.  He had so many questions, was so fascinated by our life style, our faith.  How many times he would marvel at our unshaken belief in God, our peace, and well something he just couldn't put his finger on.
     We were at his house for a meal one night and the next evening we get the call that he was gone.  Maybe even gone that same night.  His wife was on a trip and found him gone when she got back.  Wow!  We had had such a nice evening, he had done a lot of talking, reminiscing old times, even telling us some dark secrets of his past. 
     Wow!  So we were the last people he saw before he passed on.  Would I have done or said anything different?  How would I have handled it if I would have known?  But I didn't . . . but God did! 
     I remember while sitting there that last evening, asking Jesus to use us and direct how He wanted to use us, and I have to trust He did.  I felt the reassurance that even when we didn't always say something, when we were just listening to his stories, our spirits, Jesus flowing through us, was still making an impact.
     But I wish I really knew!  I feel for his wife who also has been doing a lot of prayer for him and was concerned for his soul.  But I have to know that we filled the spot we were suppose to fill.  We pointed him to Jesus, we prayed, we lived out our faith and the rest is with God.
     We sure will miss you, "Grandpa"!!!  And I really . . . really hope, we get to see you again!!!
    

Dreams

     All of us dream.  Some of us have big dreams and small dreams, little wishes and big ones.  It's always so much fun when those dreams come to pass; you've finally been able to realize the thing, that before was only a nice distant thought.  Unfortunately most of us also know what shattered, broken, delayed dreams are.
     We can relate with the little girl who finds herself sitting beside a broken splintered wood heap that once were her dream.  Her dream, play house.  She had spent hours dreaming of all the fun and memories she would make in her little house.  The friends she'd have over.  The parties.  The sleep overs.  Everything a little girl would dream of.  Only to find herself sitting in a puddle of tears by the ruins that once were her dreams.
     Daddy, her big protector, the one who had helped her build this house . . . had He helped her dream, to build, only to take it back down?  The little girl struggles to wrap her mind around how this could be love.  Something so unfair!!!  She sees all the other lovely houses, and stares blankly at the ruins in front of her.
     Across the field walks Daddy, and stoops to wipe the fallen tear and smiles with those eyes so full of compassionate love.  "Girly, it IS because I love you!  You see I have dreams too.  My plans and My dreams for you are way beyond yours.  You dream big but I dream BIGGER!  I had to take your play house down, so I could reconstruct what I'm dreaming for you.  Give Me the broken pieces, the splintered broken wood, and just watch what I will do with them.  And He looks deep into the little girl's eyes, winks, and pulls her to her feel . . . you just watch!!!"
     And so God speaks . . . then I wonder if I really remember Whose talking, Who this really is!!!  This is the One who created the universe, the galexies, the complexity of the human body, so many wonderful, amazing things, that boggle my mind.  When God plans, He makes plans out of this world, way beyond us, more then we would ever dream of!  So God wants to change our plans, my plans??  Who am I to question the way He oporates, what He's doing?  If it's a God thing, I most likely won't understand it all.  He's God!!!  And when God dreams and plans . . . He dreams BIG!!!!
     I have a feeling our human minds don't look at big the same way God does either.  His scale of big is so often different then our scale.  What if part of the big plan, is the way it draws us closer to Jesus, teaches us to take our heart ache to him, to find our total security and fulfillment in Him!  And really . . . that is BIG!!   
    
    

Shake Well Before Using

     Ok so I was at Star Bucks today, taking advantage of the half price Frappes.  Yay!!!  Yummy good stuff!!!  But my brain was churning . . .
     I started thinking about this somewhat costly drink (if it had been full price) and it started to register in my little brain that, the greater the procedure involved in making the drink, the greater the value and price of it.  Wow!  I know, that sounds "profound", but I started thinking about drinks and well, people . . .
     Why do we have the "Shake before using" label, on our bottled drink we buy at the store?  Is it not to enjoy a fuller flavor, to bring the stuff at the bottom, to the top, so it all tastes better?
     What about stirring in cream and sugar into our coffee?  It causes a little stir, a little unsettling, but the results is oh so yummy,  I think!!  : )
     Then we can go into the whole realm of shakes and Frappes.  Some things are blended, and beat and whipped and chopped, and put through a whole maze of procedures before the expensive drink that we buy across the counter, is ready for us to enjoy.
     So, could we say that stirring and shaking and breaking, in our lives, is to produce greater beauty in our lives?  Could we say that it's to bring out the best flavor possible, make us a better demonstration of the beauty the Creator has created in us?  More beauty for His glory, to "make Him look good"!!
     I started to get, excited, well, hesitantly so, but wow, when I look at it this way, "Bring it on"!  Ok, well, maybe I'm not quite there yet, but if I can look at hard times as bringing about beauty in my life; to make a better tasting Frappe, that is exciting!  I wonder what He's visualizing in His mind as He keeps working on me??  Whatever it is, I know He only does good, it will be good!!!

Take Risks

TAKE RISKS

"To laugh is to risk appearing a fool;

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental;

To reach out to another is to risk involvement;

To expose feelings is to risk exposing ones true self;

To place ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk ridicule;

To love is to risk not being loved in return;

To live is to risk dying;

To hope is to risk despair;

To try is to risk failure;

and yet, the person who risks nothing,

does nothing,

has nothing and ultimately

becomes nothing."  (author unknown)

Over Your Head

     I don't know if you've ever been put into a classroom where you felt like things were going way over your head.  By the end of the class you felt like you had stretched portions of your brain, to try and grasp what was being taught to only barely get a hold of what it was. . . and you for sure couldn't have explained it if someone had bothered to ask you what they had just told you in that class room.
     There have been times I felt that way in an actual school setting but my most resent classes have been more of the spiritual nature.  Believe me, there are times it feels like a school desk and papers, pens and books, would be easier at times; more tangible, easier to research, google info about, or ask another student on.  And of course when really in a pinch we always hope for a nice teacher who has time in her/his busy schedule to explain to the "thick heads" of us, the details of the lesson that we couldn't grasp.
     Hmmm . . . the school of life ... when your thrown into a "class room" that is way beyond your ability to understand; you really thought your Teacher knew that you were in the first year of college, not the fifth.  But why do you find yourself in this class?  This isn't where your suppose to be!  Or is it?
     One thing stands true when finding myself in such a state, I really can trust my Teacher.  He really does know what He's doing and knows how much I can handle (though there are times you really wonder).  My Teacher knows me better then I know myself and obviously He must have known I could handle this class, or He wouldn't have put me here.  And when I'm straining to grasp what it is that He's trying to teach me, I stop to look up into His face and see His warm reassuring smile, feel His love and presence around me and I know, it will be alright.  I may not understand it all now.  I may not get all that He's trying to teach me, but in time He will explain.  It may take awhile; this Teacher's ways are far above mine, but I thank Him for His patience . . . Thank Him for being my Teacher!!!! : )