Ministry. The thing we call pouring our lives into something or someone. The fight in us that will go to great measures to be a voice, to call someone out, to make a difference in someones life. It's also the thing that quickly defines our true motives, our real make up. Is this about me getting the results I want, or is it still about Jesus?
The tough thing then that it hard to grapple with, is when after having stepped out to be a voice, after much prayer and time spent, it appears to be of no avail. All the emotional energy, the seeking God for wisdom and direction, digging in the Word to share, everything we thought we were doing so right. We tend to take it personal, tend to wonder what we did wrong, did we fight in vain?
Then my mind goes to my dear Savior, Jesus! The one who died so many years ago, not for just the ones who would except Him, but everyone! He didn't decide ahead of time who was worthy of His death; only die for the ones who would receive it, make sure He didn't go through that torcher, pain and death in vain. Neither did He put His Spirit of conviction and the draw of His Spirit on only those who will respond, at least not that I'm aware of. It seems every day He is drawing and calling and fighting for the souls of those who do not yet know Him. Everyday He is turned away, disappointed, His death made to no avail in individuals lives.
As humans we want guard ourselves, stay on the safe side, make sure what we are fighting for is going to have the end results we want, make it worth the fight. But I'm beginning to wonder, maybe that's not to be our concern. Sure, we need to be lead by the Spirit, know that we are stepping out in obediance to what He wants us to do, but maybe it won't always "turn out". Maybe Jesus just needed another human to love through, speak through, and represent Himself through. Maybe He wants to call out through us in human form, just like He's doing in so many ways behind the scenes... Another voice, another reminder. The rewards may not always be obvious, it may look like a waste of time, but I also believe representing Jesus will never be in vain. He deserves to be represented and spoken for no matter the results! You will receive your reward!
